this is my complete history report all in one blog. hope that you all enjoy.
Small mishaps make huge impacts.
Every event has someone mad.
Robert kingett
History in the eye.
There has been a massive murder today in various towns and cities. No one knows how it happened, but bodies are all over the ground in massive heaps. After numerous amounts of investigation one lone suspect is showing himself as the distinct murder of all these innocent victims. Apparently according to the police, forced collectivization of agriculture is the cause of this tragedy. How can that even happen, I ask you? Stalin, also known as Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili was questioned today after some fat police man managed to catch up with him and pin him to the ground.
“I knew he would be a problem child ever since I was pushing him out in 1879.” Mrs. Stalin commented one afternoon. “He was such a hassle from the beginning, he even didn’t even graduate high school, and my poor husband couldn't do anything, he was a cobbler after all.”
No one knows exactly why he decided to slaughter his own breather in, but many people offhandedly commented time and time again that it started in 1922 when he became general secretary of the Communist Party. Few others say this madness even started when he popped out of his mom and he scared the doctor.
The carnage that left everyone in coffins as so bad a section of town had to be banned off today. There is however, reason to suspect that he may have an accomplice at work. His madness however, did purge the opening so that we, the US, could strike down Hitler in a massive non bloody skirmish!
Police, and my research, have gathered evidence of more murders around town this week. In the 1930s it also turned out that he was just making more than fake hope, he was also making a group known as 'enemies of the people', this group caused the death of even more millions, and also the creation of concentration camps, or slave labor camps.
Stalin’s trial will never be held because since he did after all give us the means to battle Hitler in the 1940’s, the government, not I, feel that he should be set free to kill even more people. Oh how I just love my country.
Elementary my dear Watson, evidence has been found.
After seconds of not looking at this paper a new section has appeared, and the police that don’t exist yet have once and for all have caught the accomplice! Now you can dance, but be civilized about it.
As it turns out late last night while Stalin was being held at the station someone spotted a lone figure walking about the station. The police caught him, and he revealed himself to be Malenkov. Malenkov, also known as Georgi Maksimilianovich, was not available for questioning due to the fact that he pulled out his teeth in order to form one sentence so he could send it to his trusty master Joseph Stalin. When police did try and question him he just gurgled incoherently as he sat in the interrogation room. Police however have found evidence linking him with Stalin. He succeeded Stalin as premier in 1953, but that didn’t stop from becoming his aid soon afterward. That soon stopped because after he replaced him as party head Malenkov even stopped playing bingo at nights with him. Police however still think that the two are working together despite the differences.
“It wouldn't surprise me.” Some random bystander said one night while I was interviewing the wrong person. “He and Stalin were very close, but that soon faded and they started hating each other, I think. They would often however come over and have tea and take over the world in small doses together.”
Documents have been found that clearly depict that Malenkov has an anger issue, and thus can, and will, and did, side with Joe as he slowly but surely took over the world, and killed lots of people. His unknown sister had something to say on the subject
“I like don’t know why my bro is such a twit, I guess he lost his brain cells after he was removed from important posts. He was so mad he even ripped up his stuffed animal! Whatever though, I think he's like an idiot. That post that he did, that was important I guess. I could care less, but it was for his role in the “antiparty faction.” he shouldn’t have been stupid like that and tried opposing some total hunk named Khrushchev. He had a good car by the way. After that, mom flipped and she beat him with a shoe. He was expelled from the party in 1961, but I still go down there and play with that awesome hunk of a god! Oh, Khrushchev!”
The two will be held in a room until they apologize, or go in trial sometime in your dreams.
Woman suing for broken nail when performing a dance.
Today in the grand theater a women fell and broke her nail while doing the dance version of Romeo and Juliet. Outraged she blames a man by the name of PROKOFIEV, SERGEY for this “terrible tragedy” and is suing him for all his works. We here at insight age don’t even know if that's possible, but what the heck! If she wants to make herself look like an idiot go for it! Freedom of stupidity!
The parents are outraged, and the mom even freaked out so much she even tried to kill Sergey Prokofiev when he was diligently working on his soon to be known children's song called Peter and the Wolf.
“I don’t care if he was some great composer who made up things like Love for Three Oranges and who knows what else!” Andréa's mom blew up one day. “And I know he tried so hard to write an opera at the age of nine, but you know what? He failed and he deserves to be put in jail! He abused my daughter!” others claimed that he is a splendid person to work with. Many have enjoyed help making his ballots. Some were used in Cinderella in 1944. I mean, he looks so handsome!
No wrong can come by him, or so I think anyway.
Up with pitches, down with hair
A riot is gathered outside of the hair salon today due to a massive build up inside. As it turns out, Rockefeller, Nelson Aldrich is actually fixing someone's hair up. No one knows who it may be, but people suspect that it is the dodger’s pitcher and batter known as Roy Campanella.
“I could honestly care less about that wonderful pitcher; he didn’t even stay on that long! He stayed on the team from 1948 to 1957, and he didn’t even hit that well! He was a better Pitcher. Well, darn it I want to get my nails done, and he's taking his sweet time in there!” one bystander shouted at me as I was interviewing another.
People are trying to figure out why the vice president, Rockefeller, Nelson Aldrich, would be giving this Hall of Fame star a hair due. Earlier today one person tried to actually throw the director of Rockefeller Center and his pall out. It didn’t work. The person is now in the hospital getting a head injury treated.
“I don't care that that pitcher was on the Giants for seven seasons, when he gets out I'm going to mess him and his pretty hair up!”
The issue was resolved by people going to a different place
Trouble with rock around the clock.
Last night there was commotion outside of the home of Margaret. It turns out that she had quite literally killed her voice box as she was trying out for the lead vocalist in Harvey Sachs’s Rock around the clock.
“It was so rocking dudes.” The guy across the hall said. “this chick was like singing, and then it sounds like she's all choking and stuff, so I like look and stuff man to see what's going on, and she's grabbing at her throat and her face is all blue, and I'm like wow she's hot.”
After that completely awesome eye witness account the police immediately came to the conclusion that she had sang to death. When she woke up later the police said they made a mistake. Wonder how that could have been, huh?
“I just wanted her to sing, when I said sing your heart out I didn’t mean sing until you drop.” Bill Haley said one morning in his walk in closet because I was hiding from a stalker. “I guess she's not going to sing my new song.”
As it turned out, she survived, but will be a mute for the rest of her life. What a shame. Police don’t know if they should arrest him or not.
This little incident didn’t stop him though, soon after he managed to get a band together in the span of about 6 years, and soon afterwards Bill Haley and His Comets recorded “Rock Around the Clock,” The icky song was so good stupid people voted for it time and time again to be on the best sellers list, it's most recent recognition was 1974 in England.
Inventor of Rock around the clock.
Margret’s boyfriend is so outraged that he threatened to actually perform his own tongue transplant. He was arrested yesterday for impersonating a dentist. Hearing this news, Bill Haley like a baby got scared and crapped his pants after running away. Before all this he did bask in his success with the new rock and crap- Role song. This wasn’t his only work though. Two years earlier he’d put out “Crazy, Man, Crazy” which was a fist mix of country and R&B. Haley was a presence on the record charts ever since he started spitting out songs like people spit out their own hair. He was even in several rock and roll movies aimed at teenagers. He's creeping me out enough. Some rumor also has been flying around that the Comets have sold 60 million records worldwide. You people have no taste in music! How popular was crap around the clock anyway? Need I mention that this is only estimation? I don't know why it is estimation, since I was able to tell you how many records he sold worldwide. I guess that is where the math skills die down.
Charges will not be held against Billy, and I don't know why, but he sent his pen pal some chocolate hearts, and now she forgives him. I however would take them and shove them up his ---. Anyway, all is forgiven. Stupid people.
Big gardens at little places...
By Robert Kingett.
The big talk today is all about a little work of art. It turns out that an unexpected source of talent has risen up in random small areas around town. It seems that someone is actually making vegetable versions of the Eastern Bloc. Someone has actually conjoined vegetables together to make a replica of the solders in a garden, and even in some public places. No one knows this, but eastern block miniature creations are a tribute to the Soviet Union and its allies in Central and Eastern Europe. During the late 1980s, the vegetables are actually different kinds, with carrots resembling the solders bodies standing up right. There is one person who is behind this insane work of art, and his name is Lyndon LaRouche. I guess being in the New American Fascism sort of got to his head after all I don't know why a guy would go out for that. Kind of creepy in my opinion... Evidence however has always suggested that he was a nut case. In a letter to Roy Cohn he clearly shows signs of Freudian reaction formation. I am guessing that's an illness. When asked about his creation he simply said.
“Gives the people something to look at.” I agree, and despite the fact that all his adult life he lived like a millionaire, he still managed to have a swift and vast change in mental health and I applaud him for that. I honestly do. No man can have change in sanity like him!
“I'm shocked he's even doing this you know? Like in 1973 he like decided to be stupid, and not pays the IRS with his friend Cohn, and so now they have to always be on the run. It's so sad.”
Even though this wacko is indeed a criminal, and has been one ever since last paid income tax in 1973, he still amazes me of his garden creations that he has done. I am in fact so impressed, I think I will make a statue of him out of food groups myself, and then be strange.
“I mean, I'm no expert here, but this one time someone screwed with his flowers, and oh my god he had such a psychological effect he even buried them. He was, and still is a mad man. He should be locked up. For days after someone ate his flowers he went nuts and formed a counterpunch. I'm not entirely sure what it was going to do, but I do know that he had plans to steal flowers. He was already supposed to be dead, because someone tried to shoot him, but this stunt resulted in yet another assassination
attempt against him.”
ironically, i didnt get a grade on this. if there are any teachers out there, grade me! lol!
