Cinderella edited

the newest hate mail to date and this one proves just how inteligent gheto talk is.

Since I'm such a nice guy and all, I post hate mail that is particularly dumb. That being said, I think I will let you all have a treat today, and read this idiots email before I have the chance to bash it. In fact, I propose a contest. Write a response, and email it to me, or just comment. If it's good,I'll send it to him and post it with your responses, then I will post it again with my response. Neat huh?

From: jamespopi@aol.com

To: kingettblue& gmail.com

Subject….stfu.

You are so fucking dumb idc where to befin.

I'm black and I like talking that way bitch, and if you ever diss our language again I'll kick yo motha fuckin ass! You are so stupid! Look at how you be written, all dem swearin words and shit. yo just pissed because yaw be a nerd in school, and you be the nerd they all hate. no better than us just cause your blind. In fact you should go piss on your own face… it's a language dip shit. Jus like sign language. Wut, going to make fun of the deaf next? You are racist because you bitch about something that doesn't even concern you ass hole. You dis us blks ova and ova again. White bitch. Your just pissed. It's okay. Maybe one day someone will see yo small dick size. Don’t ever diss our race again or I'll cum beat yo white ass to the gground! Fuck off blind bastard! It a language you wouldn't understand! Piss on yo ass is wut I'm doing tonight. Bitch! You betta run cracka…. Stay inside tonight ass hole…. Us folk can hide in da dark. Yo be jealous cuz we have something you isn't being a part of. Piss on yo dick blind fucky, and stfu!

gAlso…. Your just jealous too cuz dem kids be kool an you isn't, you don’t know how to dress kol. Bitch. I hope someone steps on yo face.

Fuck off ass hole, stop writing dis shit. Racists are ass holes, and you be a racist. Go to hell. Also, stop bitchin! No one fucking thinks yo funny, so stop trying to write blogs about stuff you wanna bitch aboot.

Ghetto talk is demeaning. edited and re written.

By Robert Kingett.

Authors note. I'm not racist. I'm honestly not. I in fact like black people so much I even have black friends! If I were being racist, I would make that quite clear with phrases like “shit skin” and “nigger.” But I'm not. As a matter of fact, I honor the race. They took a lot of shit from our asses for years before the civil war, so they have a right to bitch. So, if you’re a black person... (By the way I will never use African American because it's so stereotypical…) reading this, don’t email me and say I'm a racist. You don’t know me, and you, by calling me racist, are being prejudice yourself. Not to mention your being a presumptuous cock as well. So to all you people who think I'm racist, piss off.

Do you all believe in the freedom of speech? I do. I'm a huge advocator of the constitution. I like the fact that here in the United States we can have the freedom to be whatever we want to be. people don’t seem to know we have this kind of freedom because there are so many followers in the world, also known as people who don’t think for themselves. We all have the right to be who we want to be, but I think some people take it a little too far.

Did you all know there is actually such a thing as Black English? I didn't until I looked it up. I thought that was actually interesting, and that's what I want to focus on today, or rant about.

I just want to say that I think it's overused. You don’t see lawyers going around going “what's up dog?” Nah. Doesn't work. Why is this? I'm not sure, but I think it's just useless. How much fucking harder is it to just say “hi? How are you?” is it the same as moving a car? It shouldn’t be, but since you all want to be cool, and use phrases that no one can understand, you want to use cool phrases right? go to hell. The less intelligent you sound, the more power to you I say. To your “homies” it may sound cool but try saying “I'm in da hood” when applying for a job. It's not going to fly.

“where did you reside in your last residence?”

“well, you see homie, I be in da hood wit ma homies, and we be chilling and shit dawg, so can I get the job now?”

Let me tell you exactly what he's thinking at this very moment…. Hell fucking NO!

I understand it's a “black thing” but don’t email me bitching that I'm white, so I wouldn't understand. I know what the hell I'm talking about even if I'm not black. if you would just listen to me and not jump to conclusions like about 89% of you dip shits reading this will, you would know that I have a point here. Some dip shit emailed me about it yesterday when I was in a chat room talking about it

“You just think its dumb cuz you be white.”

Well god damn talk about being a racist. I don’t think it's dumb, I just think it's overused. There are some black people I know who think I'm “gay” because I “talk white.” well, let me just say this. At least I can be heard and fucking understood. At least I don’t have people staring at me when I open my mouth to spew out some street shit. When I talk, people nod, and smile, and even laugh occasionally. Hmm, want to know why that is? I use fucking complete sentences! Don’t you even feel a little like a dumbass when your being stared at by a blank look? It would be fucking embarrassing to me, but hey, being cool is the shit, right? It's just like in schools. Why would you walk into a class room, for example and blurt out “wut up ma peeps?” don’t you want to be respectful and also be showing how sophisticated you can be, And not be “cool?” you would think that would be the main goal, but hey. Getting good marks on your school record is nothing compared to being cool, and having no recommendations, right? Yeah. You go ahead and be cool while I get my scholarship.

Also… if you’re in someone's house wouldn't you want to present yourself in the most sophisticated way possible? I've seen so many of my black friends make themselves look like idiots because they want to be cool, so they use street talk, and when the person gives them a quizzical look they wonder why the person thinks that my friend is stupid. I think that ghetto talk should only be reserved for close friends or just within family residence. I honestly hate hearing the shit all the time. Don’t people know how retarded they sound by saying it in a school, or the work place? Save it for friends and family. Shut your half wit pie holes. Your making yourself look like a cum chucking bastard anyway. When you can say a whole sentence, come back and talk to me.

Let’s just face fact’s here. If you want to get into college you don’t want to have an essay spelled out in “ghetto type.” Do you? Nah, wait, what the hell am I saying! Of course you fucking do! You want to show the people that not only can you make about 56 people go What the fuck? You,, like every other cool person out there, want to make yourself a shit chucking ape! Yeah homies! If I were on that committee, I wouldn't even send you a letter saying you weren’t accepted. I would just send you shit in an envelope. Great usage of the word homie though. You’re bound to get that scholarship yet! Hell, keep typing like that and you just may work for Microsoft in a few years!

People do it in emails as well. I actually have to sit there and stare at the fucking screen for about three minutes when I get an email entirely filled with shit, also known as ghetto or black talk. It takes me longer to read that illegible email then to read a fully correctly spelled email with long sentences. Plus it seems to dim your intelligence level to me anyway. If I don’t know you that is. What a fucking kick ass first impression huh? I'm not bitching about the spelling either, so don’t have a shit and say “but Robert…. You misspell words all the time.” That's not What the fuck I'm talking about. I'm talking about emails that look like this….

“yo brotha, wut up dawg it's be me, yo home boi J, nice krib you be having dawg, we pimpin’ dat shit lata, aight peeps. Word!

I usually just sit there and stare at emails like this, and I'm thinking one thing as I actually try and decipher, yes I said decipher, because your not reading words, your reading gibberish. Cool gibberish at that. So after I read the email. The first thought that comes to mind is… Okay, What the fuck did he just say?

On another note. I'm sick of black people making fun of my speech. What, just because I actually say a fucking real sentence that makes me dumb? No. saying “I would like to hurt you… “In my opinion anyway, sounds way more intelligent than “yo brotha, ma homies and I be poppin’ a cap in yo ass lata in da hood. A’light?” yeah… so what the fuck did you just says again?

Seriously, if you’re a black person don’t you want to be viewed as an upstanding citizen who has fucking brains at the workplace and or at school? You would think, but hell, everyone wants to be cool these days, so who the fuck cares if we look like dumbasses who can't type or talk for shit? We want to look fucking cool and be a retard at the same time! Awesome goal there guys. Seriously, I applaud all people who strive to be the biggest dumbass. It makes my day.

There's a time and a place for everything, and I don’t think that school is the place you want to where a due rag or “bling bling.” Okay…. So you want to look all flashy? Good luck with getting a job then dumbass. I just think that ghetto talk should be used only amongst friends, and not in the class room. Sure you look cool saying it, but you know what else you look like as well? A fucking cum chucking dumbass. Don’t you want to sound even half way intelligent? I do, hence why I never say that kind of shit. You would do well to follow my example. I'm not saying this because I'm white, and hate black people, which I don’t. I'm saying it because, unlike all you homies and “nigas,” I want to get a job. So, my last words are,, fuck off! Peace out.

Oh omnipotent computer. a poetic satire.

By Robert Kingett.

Oh omnipotent computer

Neither mask nor fem but neuter

Giant manic brain which thrives

On the million screwed up lives

You who feed on cold raw data

And regurgitate it later,

In some new uncanny disguise

Fraught with error

Filled with lies

And where once were human souls,

Are now modems filled with holes.

The dorm paradox, week 1, day 1.

By Robert Kingett

Week one.

I'm writing this at home now because I didn't get my laptop at school. So, because of this, my memory may be a tad sketchy. I also had a lot going on this week, and I don’t have time to cover it all because the fan in my laptop is still screwed up. What a shame if you ask me, but oh well, let’s jump right in!

I get there on Sunday evening, and nothing interesting happens that day except for Mrs. Nannette tells us the rules and regulations. After that we all can kind of hang out and do what ever until bed time

The next day, which by the way is Monday, I get into English class to see someone sitting in the front seat. I don’t want to be picky, but that's been my seat for three years. It's kind of grown on me. In a way it's kind of like a “lucky flower” though in a more literal sense. It's a black kid, and he has sun glasses on his head. From the way he's looking at me as he comes in, I can tell that he can see me, and can see me quite clearly. I walk in, plop my bag on the floor next to my desk and take a seat.

“Greetings and salutations!” I just sit there and blink for a few seconds before stammering a quick

“hello.” He's still looking at me like I'm an interesting bug on a microscope.

“I'm nick.” He says stretching out a hand. “It’s such a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I have to stare at him to see if I'm not hallucinating or something. Usually the kind of greetings I get at the Florida School for the Deaf and the Blind are “yo.” “wut up!” and “nerd.”

“Yours as well. It's such a benevolent day outside isn’t it?” instead of hearing a what? I hear

“Yes, it's quite munificent.” All I can do again is just sit and stare. He's doing the same to me, and I'm sure I'm creeping him out as much as he is me. I start to feel uncomfortable when he suddenly asks

“What’s your leisure pursuit?”

“Um… well, I'm a bibliophile, so I”

“Like to read, I know what the word means.” He didn't snap at me, thank god. He in fact sounded like he was excited. It was almost as if I had just told him a new chemical mix to cure cancer. The guy looks like he's African. His huge eyes are staring at me again, and his sun glasses are resting on his nearly balled head. The guy has a crew cut about him. Judging by how tall he is just sitting down, I'm guessing he's six foot or something.

“Oh. Okay. So what's your fad you like to partake in?” he grins as he proudly explains

“I'm interested in prose as well.”

“So you like to read? That's cool.” He looks shocked then seems to blush, that is if he had white skin. His voice is so nerdy though. It's a mix of high pitched and nasally, but it's not girly high pitched. It's a little up there but not high on the twin towers.”

“Well, my name's Robert Kingett and…”

“Oh my god!” he blurts out as kids slink past us chattering. “you’re the great…” he says great like 6 other times” grandson of the king James Kingett who was married to Sara melamine in the mid 180’s! Your heinous it's such a pleasure to meet you!” before I can do anything he stands up. I was right by the way he is six foot, and bows to me low, and professionally. Literally all the kids stop and look. All of us can see in here except for like two people in the class.

“You’re heinous, it's an honor! Here you go, have this chair!” he shoves a chair under me, and then starts to fix my messed up hair.

“Um… what the heck is going on?” a kid asks me.

“He’s got a slave…” someone else blurts out. I feel so weird just sitting here having people stare at me, so I calmly say “nick. Can you please stop?” he immediately stammers and gushes “I'm so sorry you’re heinous, is there anything else you desire?”

“Don’t treat me like that again.” He again bows way low and he stays that way for some time. He doesn't know he's blocking traffic, and he doesn't know I want to die.

“Nick…. You’re in the way.”

“I am so honored to be...”

“Move before I punch you!” Ciara carter shouts. I slowly sit down in my seat again and put my face in my palms. I want to die, and there's something that's worse… I can feel every eye on me, totally blind or not. I'm just about to tell my slave to stop existing, when Mrs. Chancy clears her scratchy throat. She is a smoker, and definitely sounds like it.

“Okay class, let’s settle down, right? Okay. Before we start I just want to say congratulations to the two people in this room who are taking honors English, hmm right? Okay yep, hurray!” she's the only one clapping.

“What the heck?” all the other kids say at the same time. “Two people?”

“Why yes of course! Right? Okay. Yes, um, nick and Robert, will you kind of stand up here for just one minute. Okay?” we both do. I come up to his stomach almost, or his lower chest area. The guy’s arms stretch down to my knees. He's staring at me. I'm guessing he's shocked because he's never had someone be in the honors program with him before. My thoughts are confirmed when he blurts out you two?

“nah. I just like to pretend.” Either he doesn't get the sarcasm, or he completely ignores it.

“I'm with someone?”

“No. I'm a ghost.”

“Okay guys. These two will be taking honors English. Robert Kingett…” everyone gives a small clap when they hear my name. I'm not liked there, but I am respected. I think the reason is I don’t shove knowledge down people’s throats. As if on queue I hear shoes bouncing beside me on my blind side. I look and a coal Black Hand is up in the air.

“Mrs. Chancy, did you know that the word honor, also known as deference, came from the Latin phrase….” I don’t remember what he says after that, but he's correct.

“Um… yes nick that's correct?” by this point I don't know if I should just sit down or tell him to shut up. He's still going on about the origins of words and such. I'm actually typing this standing up, and she's thinking I'm taking notes.

After we sit down nick immediately turns and stares at me some more as I draw out a book called holes.

“Did you know that the author actually didn't want to become a writer? Do you want to write?”

“I do.” I say.

“Oh yes nick. Robert is a great writer.

“Did you know that people used to call writers scribes? That was after the depression.” I don’t want to even point out how random that was, so I just sit down again.

We start to talk about British authors now, and we are supposed to tell Mrs. Chancy some British authors, nick spits them out like machine guns before I can even raise a hand.

“And j is Tolkien wrote lord of the rings trilogy, since it is after all three books, unless you count the hobbit which was actually written before the fellowship. 45 years to be precise…” damn. All I wanted to say was J Are Tolkien.

“But let’s not forget…” Mr. Brain continues… “About c s Lewis and the most famous one j k Rowling.”

“And Anthony harowits is the most recent.” I say determined to get a damn word in edge wise.

“He’s the acclaimed author of what's known in the United States as the Alex Ryder series…” nick jumps in.

“And he also…”

“Did the gatekeepers, or the power of five trilogies publishing those books, by the way, in the 200’s.” I think I should just go mute. I honestly should. I am noticing that he's not spewing out intellectual thoughts. He's just spewing out facts. Does that mean he's not truly intelligent after all?

The whole week goes by like this, and I can't wait until we get to reading something. I want to see Mr. Brain try and figure out a symbol in a book. I don’t think he can, so I'm okay there. He wants to become a lawyer. I told me this after he exclaimed “you have a nice face!” to which I stop and just sit and stare. Weird. I don’t think he's gay though. At the end of class, nick comes out holding a piece of paper. I catch the huge title, and I almost scream. It's my crying poem. I shouldn’t have left it there on my desk. Shit! When he's all done he looks at me, and I snatch the poem away giving him the hardest look anyone has ever received.

“Wow….” Is all he says.

“Wow what?” I snap. “Go on. Say something.” He shocks me by saying “its good fiction. Short.” So he has no clue still. He thinks it's all fake... He probably literally lives in a bubble so this doesn't shock me.

“Yeah… you can say that.”

“Hey…. Look…. I'm honored to be in the same class with you. You don't have a mind as huge as I, but it's precocious.”

“Thanks?” I don't know what to say, so I start to turn to leave.

“Do you want to be friends, or do you want to battle each other?” I stop and look back at him. He stands so tall above me it looks like he's a dark tower. The truth is, honestly, I don't know.

“I'm not sure nick. I thank you again, but I just don’t like arrogance. People who are arrogant drowning in their own egos. You know?” he nods. “So…. Can I get back to you on that one?”

“Of course. Have a nice day.”

“You too.” He walks off, and so do I, tapping my cane. He's suddenly at my side again.

“We would be an awesome pair! Besides, no point in wasting a time of learning outsmarting one another, right? Knowledge should be a team.”

“There’s a difference between intellect and fact memorization.”

“No there's not.”

“In your eyes. Look. Let me think about it okay?” I place my hand on his elbow, since that's the only place I can reach. “I don’t like arrogance.”

“I just like knowledge, and people who have it or like learning new things shouldn’t be fighting, intellectual or otherwise.” He does have a point, but I don’t want to let him know he does.

“We’ll see.” I turn and walk away.

“You, with your mind, can surely see I'm right.” I could see, but I didn't want to let him see. That's why, as I walked away, I had my head down, and my thoughts pad locked behind a door where no one, not even the genius can see…

End of day one.

To be continued…

My school years resolutions.

My school years resolutions.

Hi kiddies. the great unknown writer is here to tell you that he will be going to school tomorrow, and he, like everyone else on this earth, has goals. Some of them include…

1) Freak as many people out as I can.

2) Plot weird stories while scrubbing toilets.

3) Plan a surprise bash for my imaginary friends

4) Do school work, and then do it again, and again, and again.

5) Take over the newspaper staff with an army of candy creatures.

6) Freak out Mrs. Kory with wacky hair styles

7) Be adventurous and sneak into the hallway at nights

8) Hope nothing weird happens on my birthday, September 9^th.

9) Cook outrageously weird foods and feed to my room mates to see if they will actually eat the stuff.

10) Have weird daydreams.

And there! That's all. I will be going to dorm tomorrow, like I said. All you Florida School for the Deaf and the Blind people, who read this, don’t expect me to actually do these things, staff and students alike. I would be fun though… ha.

As the year goes on you know I will keep you all posted with journals about what's going to go on. You can count on that!

reading contest. a chance to be heard on “podiobooks.com.”

Hi all. I want to ask someone a favor. Can someone read my story “no pants in class,” and record it also? You won’t be paid because I don’t have any cash, but the winner, also known as the person with the best inflection, accuracy and all that will have their recording on podiobooks.com. thanks again. If you want to participate in the contest, email me at kingettblue at Gmail.com. thanks again all!

The show Parental Control is pathetic.

By Robert Kingett

Warning. This post will have a great amount of profane language. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

I couldn't think of anything else to come up with for the title of this work, so I went with something that resembles my patience level. Short.

Do you all watch MTV? I don’t. I will however watch some shows made by them once in a while because there's nothing to rant about. I watch MTV only as a last resort kind of thing, or just pure curiosity. The old time favorite show of mine is the show jackass. It appeals to that kind of people. How ironic that the shittiest network produces something that the jackasses of the world, also known as most of the United States, can laugh at and like.

I know I'm completely boycotting but you know what? I don't care at all.

Someone once emailed me and said “I luv MTV cuz it's so rea!” it is? Seriously? God damn. I thought that real life was more real than some shitty interpretation created by some pot head for pot heads. Here I thought that talking and breathing, and moving around in the real world was, in fact, real. I guess I was wrong. Watching guys smear stuff on their chest and laugh as they get their balls bitten is so much more real! How the fuck could I have guessed?

The only reason I hear about these shows and here them is because I have idiots around me who watch the shit MTV spews out of its trap. I don’t watch it willingly, but I'm forced. When I go in my room, the damn TV seems to magically get louder. I hate people.

Does anyone know why MTV is so popular? I don’t. One ironic thing about them however is that they are all “anti censorship!” yet they are the most censored network in today's television. And people call me hypocritical… yeah. Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

One piece of shit I had the pleasure of overhearing because the god damn channel never flips is because the show parental control.

Like the rest of my schools football team, this show is completely uninteresting and it's not even worth looking at. I did anyway, and after seeing it once I formed strong opinions about the way we humans have evolved over the past centuries. We have evolved from cave man to slightly richer cave man.

I didn't use to think this way until I saw parental control. The preface of this show is a simple one. People hate the girlfriend or boyfriend that their son or daughter is going out with because he's a douche nag or a fag, nerd, snot picking covered dork, or uneducated, or all of the above. The parents are usually right in the fact that the boyfriend or girlfriend is a douche bag, but their son/daughter is too much of a bubble headed idiot to realize this.

“Like I don't care if my boyfriend is an ass whole who beats me until I'm black and blue. He's hot!”

After an always shitty introduction where the parents tell why the boyfriend or girlfriend is an ass hole they have to pick two people to go out with the dumb ass, also known as their son or daughter. I do have to give it to them… there are some awesome people who try out for this show. The parents ask questions like

“What’s your occupation?”

Some of the answers include…

“Picking my nose.”

“Practicing lawyer.”

“I design web sites for a company.”

“I…. I don't know.”

“I need to have a job?”

“I jerk off.”

These are just some of the retarded standardized answers that you get to hear in snippets while the parents are interviewing the boyfriend. Usually the parents bring their daughters on the show to date two guys…. I would hope.

For less confusion I'm going to call the daughter of the parents the dumbass. Sorry if I repeat myself, but hey… the show does it so often each show can be spoken word for word, so why the fuck can't I?

Okay. After the dumbass’s parents pick the guy, they both take the dumbass out on a date that only seems to last a minute, but is actually for an hour. As the dumbass goes out with the two men, the parents and the douche bag, also known as the current boyfriend, get to watch the whole thing and bitch at each other. The douche bag gets pissed and he insults the parents. Yeah fucking right… they just sit there like pussies and call each other fat ass and bitch the whole time. I would start throwing fists, just to show how badass I can be on TV, but I guess the douche bags don’t have the balls to do that.

After two piss off dates go by the dumbass has to pick between the two guys or the douche bag. You can tell this whole show is queue carded because they sound like they are reading everything and it also sounds like they are shitty readers as well. They put inflection into words like so! The! Him! Her! It! I'm not sure why they do this, but my guess is so they can have time to read the fucking next line. The dumbass says she had a great time with the two boys, but she must pick one of them “right now!” when she said that I wanted to promptly slap the dumbass in the face “right now!” and then walk away “right now…” get coffee… “Right now!” and “go shoot myself… right now!” dumbass.

So after she picks one guy to eliminate… “Right now!” it's usually the best one out of the bunch. The one who's nice and smart and kind and has a fucking job and doesn't eat his own shit.” She has to pick between her boyfriend, and the new date…. Thank god it's not… right now!

After the dumbass says something positive and negative about each person, she's got to pick one. A heartbeat sound effect starts up signaling that this is the choice that will alter the fucking world. It's such a life threatening event! Holy fucking shit! She chose a dick! What now!

After about fifteen seconds of this shit she goes “I pick the douche bag also known as my current boyfriend even though the guy can't even fucking count to two, let alone speak fucking properly. What the hell though, having sex with a hunk is better than actually having money and a boyfriend that will treat me right! I love being a dumbass!” and then the good guy leaves. And the hell hole is over.

Now that I've explained this pathetic excuse of shit, let’s move on to my bitching about it.

First off, why the hell does it take a fucking show to get the douche bag out of your son or daughters life? Why can't you be actual fucking parents and call the cops, get a restraining order on the dick, then call his mom and say “get your dumbass kid away from me!” why would you even want to subjectively submit yourself to TV, and millions of dip shits watching you? It's pathetic. You can't handle your own fucking problems so you just call up the people and say

“I'm a dumbass can I be on the next show?” they probably say something like

“Why yes of course dumbass. You’re on!”

So far all I ever seen on that show is retarded adults who love to pick a fight. Their houses are all nice and big, so they can afford to be dumbass’s once in a while. To me however, that could seem like something to be embarrassed about. Wouldn't it? If I were them I would be going

“I'm sorry our daughters such an air head, but she wanted to be on TV ever since she could shit, so we are fulfilling this dream for her.” Like I said, that would be a huge embarrassment to me. It would say one thing. “we've got to publically announce that our daughter is a dumbass. Why oh why?”

Also… wouldn't that be an embarrassment to the daughter? “Hi! I'm Ashley and I pick ass holes! Hot, sexy ass holes, but they are ass holes!” if I were on that show I would bring a gun and point it at the camera man. “Get out of my way before I blow you to hell!”

People who have seen it… haven't you ever thought… “Holy fucking shit! That kids a fucking retard!” I have…. Yet it amazes me the people go on this show anyway. It just drives home my original theory. Most teenaged girls are stupid fucks.

Another thing is that the kind of people who go on this show are exactly the kind of dip shits who watch shit… I mean the show. Damn. It's a small world.

The dates are shit also. They don’t even get to know each other because it seems like they only have a fucking three minute conversation. First they do some activity that the network probably pays for… such as flying in a helicopter shooting water balloons at a target. Come on! Who the fuck would have that kind of cash? After the activity they go eat on some log or on the ground, and have a three second conversation that sounds like this.

“So what do you like in a girl?

“Well, she's got to be nice.”

“Okay. Let’s go home now even though I don’t know anything about you at all.

“Okay!”

Now… why would you do that? My idea of a date would be talking over dinner getting to know the dumbass. “Do you piss in your bed?” do you “cheat often?” etc. it would make sense, but the network is full of dumbass’s like the viewers, so that doesn't shock me at all. Isn’t one of the bases of having a good relationship actually getting to know and or like the person, know their likes and dislikes, learn any secrets about them, their plans for the future, and grow a steady relationship based off of interest? That falls under my basis of a good date, but I guessed I missed something very important in the evolution of man. You can't even get to know someone just by one date. I'm sure the guys are lying out of their asses anyway just because they're on TV. I would be. no one would know, so why should I care? That being said… why would you go on a date with a stranger anyway? Would you feel just the slightest bit scared and uncomfortable, and perhaps concerned about being raped after the date? Don’t listen to me though. I'm just someone with common sense after all.

Then after the dumbass and her date get home she let’s go the really good guy, and takes back the douche bag who treats her like a goat, or a pig. At the beginning of the show every parent says their child is smart. Yes I've only seen one show but the whole shows so predictable and scripted I could plan its next season from start to finish, so don’t bitch and say I contradicted myself. Anyway if their kid is so fucking smart then why is she or he choosing the jackass every time? Hello! Idiot! “I don’t want to have a nice guy who will one day make me rich and love me. Instead, I want to be a dumb ass because I think it's fun, and pick the douche bag even though I started out with, even though he's just using my pussy… no one understands how much he loves me. You know?” why would you do that? Hello, picking a nice guy who's smart could get you so many places in life… you could have a boyfriend or girlfriend who could help you on your homework… make you fucking rich… make you feel good… make you smile… take care of you.. Pay your way if you ever need it…. less dependant on you meaning more free time… need I go on? Then again, I'm using common sense. Don’t listen to me at all.

Even the announcer guy says the same, the same, the same; the same thing over again like it's the same episode. Wow, and teenaged girls with an IQ below 87 love this shit? I'm a fucking genius then!

Why would you even waste a good hour with predictable shit anyway? I think if the dumbass would wise up and choose a good boyfriend then the show would be kind of worth it, but they don’t, so it's not, so don’t email me bitching.

MTV has really advanced with its shit. Instead of producing high quality music videos that people liked they have now upgraded to shit. Let me tell you... that's fucking quality material right there. You don’t even have to think when shit comes on; because shit’s the number one show TV broadcasters love to produce. Shit will take over the TV world in just a few… no wait. Shits’s everywhere. I vote that shit has to be removed, and removed fast! Who the hell am I kidding; no one will listen to me.

Go read a book or something. Don’t watch parental control. I did once, and my IQ has dropped 999,999,999 points. Take it from me… don’t be a cum chucking dumbass. Read a book, or my blog about how much MTV blows!

a letter from an angry stomach

A letter from an angry stomach.

BY Robert w Kingett.

This was just a satire I created purely out of boredom hope you enjoy it. it has been re posted for the newbie's here who requested it. also, if you wonna help me make an audio book, donate to me at https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=l9QYYj0Kjj3OFnzgof7yW1jhgwHkGAPvefTptyyThaqqazE58p4jOzOPQea&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1fb6947b0aeae66fdbc3b117227c0115a7ed175642e71f1b28

if you don’t have paypall, u can donate with a credit card. thanks! again, the link is https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=l9QYYj0Kjj3OFnzgof7yW1jhgwHkGAPvefTptyyThaqqazE58p4jOzOPQea&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1fb6947b0aeae66fdbc3b117227c0115a7ed175642e71f1b28 

Ok, let’s get one thing straight here. You don’t know me but you should. You should know who I am because why? Because I am your stomach. Yes folks, I am you’re partially ticked off stomach. And I have a few complaints. That breakfast I get is great in the morning, a pop tart is awesome, but do you honestly think it fills me up? Uh no! Why do you think I yell at you as soon as you get to school or work? Did you think my screams of utter anguish were screams of joy? No idiot they are screams of hunger! Of starvation! Of famished hours!

I do admit that I have grown accustomed to chocolate though, since that is the only thing you can feed me. You know? You’re a terrible parent. You can’t even take better care of me? Don’t you know that chocolates have a substance that is frequently shoved into you’re blood stream, and makes you huge? Well in case you didn’t its called saturated fat. By the way that idiot can’t even count! Or break food down into smaller chunks I know because all he does is multiply like rabbits trying to make you huge. That’s fine with me you know, if you want to ignore me I understand, just at least try and feed me healthy food so that way I could function properly and not have to yell my lungs out at you because I am hungry. You don’t hear me anyway. I think you just ignore me on purpose. I think that you think it’s a game. You try and torture me don’t you? Like this one time you went on what is called a roller coaster. Wow. If I wanted to be a gymnastics star I would try out for the flip oh thon, but oh no. apparently you love to make me flip, so I have to retaliate somehow don’t I? After I retaliate with the regurgitated food I spit out your mouth you curse me! Um hello I was trying to keep you from having a serious cramp in the future! Gee, no one cares what I do anymore.

I do have a favorite meal though, that lovely ice cream with chocolate chips and chocolate syrup and sprinkles. Dude you have no idea how much bliss I am in after that! But he is a bit of a winy baby though. When I try and digest him he tries to bore me to death with his quotes from Shakespeare, and sir Arthur Coonan Doyle, then I get ticked and scream “never more!” and I shoot all my acid at him in an attempt to make him shut up. Most of the time it works, but you have no idea how much grief I am in. especially when you like to not feed me for long periods of time. That’s fine, when you die from starvation I die too! And I don't know about you but I would like to go to my high school prom.

What I honestly do not like is people giving me food, and then making me give it back! That hurts my feelings you know? I wanted that chocolate chip cookie with sprinkles on it! What do I have to go out and dress in a ninja suit and sneak into the fridge and use my awesome acid to latch on to the door and use then hunt tactics to swiftly sneak inside the fridge? Then eat the cookie? No I shouldn’t, but you are driving me to that you know? You are, and I hate it.

In short buddy, you have a lot of things you need to straight, and I mean quick! Do you honestly want me to give you indigestion again? If you don’t behave I will be forced to. I mean it, no really I do.

So, make me happy. Keep food in me, keep me calm, no roller coasters, feed me things that are healthy by the way, and not cry baby foods. Thank you!

Harry Potter and the worst movie ever made. A review of Harry Potter and the half blood prince.

Harry Potter and the worst movie ever made. A review of Harry Potter and the half blood prince.

By Robert Kingett.

Harry Potter and the half blood prince is stunning, it's eye popping, it's mouth opening… and there is something else that Harry Potter and the half blood prince is. It's unquestionably the worst movie ever made.

You all know what I think about movies made out of books… they stink, and so do people, but aside from that I just wanted to tell why the most hyped movie has nothing even worth mentioning for more than two seconds.

Some people may be asking “but Robert… why even review it?” simple answer… because you all are idiots and have bad taste in movies.

I got very bored and decided to look up reviews for this movie. The sad part is I only got stupid teenagers typing out misspelled short reviews about how much “it's the best movie ever made! You all should go see it cuz it's all awesome and like yeah!” here is one I read just recently…

“It’s like the bomb, and the flashy things were like awesome! I like love Ron!”

Wow. What a kick butt review. Like wow. You suck. You don’t like know what a like bad movie is because your head is like all mushy and stuff inside! I honestly wanted to throw up after reading that review on a blog. Blah…. Kill me now and don’t forget to stab me as well.

I'm here to tell you why the movie sucked. Don’t even bother emailing me with all your stupid claims about how the people are real. “No way robert! The people are real!” no duh… if they weren’t real, they would be cartoons, idiots. If you have good arguments then email me. Don’t email me if all you have to say is “you don’t know when you see a good movie even if it bit you...” because I will just make fun of you and post it to my blog. I know what I'm talking about.

The first thing I want to complain about is the beginning. It's screwy… the dark opening with the words slowly coming at you like some ugly boy or girl have all been seen before. The pretty little music is still there, but this time it only flashes by. You don’t even get a chance to hear that sweet sound that you love anymore. Not even three seconds after the title flies past the sound track changes to Harry Potter in a subway station sitting at a table. A black woman comes up and he flirts with her. He actually flirts with her. By now I'm trying to remember what in the hell he said just two seconds ago that made her grin like she was stealing something. After this totally confusing scene, Harry Potter comes outside only to slam into none other than professor Dumbledore. He makes some wise crack about the waitress, and then asks Harry Potter to take his arm… then they aparate. Together.

I'm not kidding. That's how the first scene is played out. I hadn’t even settled down in my seat when they were at Slughorn's place trying to get him to come to Hogwarts. This happened all in two minutes leaving me confused beyond all beleif

Let’s pause and complain about that scene because I want to. Okay? What the heck was he thinking! That scene totally had nothing to do with the plot of the movie. I'm throwing the book away because I want to look at this through different eyes. By this point I don’t even know who this kid is. He's a flirt, apparently, and he's not prejudice. That's about all I got from that one scene. No introductions or anything.

If you seen the last film you would know that serious black died. This movie is a month after the last, and Harry’s flirting with black people. Wow… I didn't know that after just one month of sadness someone could say “okay. It's a shame that my god father just died, but you know what? After one month of being all sad and depressed, I'm over it! Now all I want to do is ride subways and flirt with black strangers.” Harry Potter sure is tough isn't he?

Aside from the fact that the scene was just retarded in all aspects of the word… you don’t even know who this strange old guy is who just came and took Harry Potter away… if that's even who he is because there wasn’t even a name mentioned in the flirting scene. They couldn't even slip something awesome in like “I'm Harry Potter, the chosen one. Want to go shack up with me?”

The next scene, which by the way is poorly shot due to the bad lenses on the cameras, consists of some old guy who is still unnamed until Slughorn says “Albuss.” Allow me to stop and praise that pathetic excuse of an entrance for a minute... nah; let’s move on like the movie seems to like to do. In a way it kind of reminds me of some naked person out on some lawn jumping from place to place so that almost no one can have a clue about who he is or what’s going on. Trust me; the whole movie is like that.

I don’t want to do every scene in the whole entire film. Even though I would have fun beating this movie to the place it should belong, in a storage bin unseen or even heard of again, I want to get this review over with and go shoot anyone who thinks it's a good movie because it's not.

So after that scene the movie unquestionably jumps around from topic to topic like some kid who's got serious ADD and a bad case of turrets. There is quite a large amount of slap stick humor thrown in as a kind of warning that says one thing and one thing only. “I know I suck like bad cheese shoved in someone's fat mouth but to try and cover this up I'm going to try and make you giggle like a school girl every now and then.” it succeeds but they do it so often it becomes obvious that it's just a cover up for the crappy actors who just don’t care anymore, and the bad dialogue exchange that sound like the writer just copied and pasted snippets from the book. The scenes are all dark. even the ones outside in braude day light. It's almost as if the sun doesn't exist in Harry Potter land… All there are is clouds. Inside it's not even nicely lit anymore. It looks like the sets were lit by candles.

The actors, focusing on them a bit here, all sounded like they were just saying lines like a politician just wanting to yank your hair a little. It's almost like watching a school play, except with this movie stupid teenage girls with like bubble gum stuck in their teeth and hair where their brains are, will be the only thing that will keep this movie “popular.” that's because they all gush when Harry Potter comes on the screen. Getting past that, each scene is an exact clipped abbreviation of the book. That's obvious, since it's based off the book, but they don’t indulge feeling into the scene anymore. Like I said, it's exactly like watching a school play, except since it has a guy that makes blonds go “oh my god I'm like in love!” it's a popular school play, at it's best.

Because of the lack of involvement, excitement, or any feeling for that matter as each scene flashes by, the mystery of the half blood prince isn’t even present within the movie. In the book I actually looked up blogs trying to figure out who was the half blood prince before anyone else. In the movie it's not even worth mentioning because they don’t even touch on the mystery of the book or the half blood prince till like two parts. The beginning and the end. Between this there are completely random scenes where you’re looking at Voldimort’s memories, and some scenes of Slughorn's party that made me want to start calling my friend right in the middle of them. If it wasn’t for the fact I'm such a nice guy I would have whipped out my laptop and started playing heavy rock music. I couldn't even connect with the characters because they were all acting like screwed up blocks of wood. You can even feel them thinking “damn I hate to be in these but since I want to be rich I'm going to say a few lines here and there”

The relationships presented in the movie didn't even feel right. Due to the fact that boards were acting, loves scenes were boring, comedy was crappy, and the overall story was lost.

This happens for about one hour then here comes professor Dumbledore’s death scene. The reason I kept repeating myself is because that's all the movie is, just badly written copied and pasted repeated bad acting. It's like watching an elephant humping a dog. It's horrifying but at the same time you can't take your eyes off it. Why? Because it's so bad.

When Harry Potter and the old drunken hag who's supposed to play Dumbledore get the locket and the old hag, also known as Michael, is drinking it he starts to shake and gasp. This led me to think that he was getting drunk at a frat party. If I hadn’t read the book I would have thought that he was in fact drunk. In the book he was scared to the point where he was crying like a spoiled brat. This old hag in the movie had me laughing out loud in the theater. Being scared, I don’t think, is the same thing as acting drunk... even when he's begging for water he sounds like he's just had a hang over. Such brilliant acting I must say…

After that the movie ends with Dumbledore dying. This, in short, looks like someone killed a doll. The wand effects were awesome, but Dumbledore's death was like watching someone eat poop while swimming in the school pool. It's horrible…

After this Snape reveals he's the half blood prince. Forgetting the book completely here, by now I had completely forgotten who the half blood prince was, which is why I didn't give three turd loads when Snape sneered “I am the half blood prince!” Harry’s reaction, and mine, while supposed to be shock, resembled dead. He didn't care. Neither did i.

Thank god after that scene was over the movie ended. I was the first one out of that theater screaming like a little girl. I give this movie a negative 200, because, after all, it is the best worst movie I ever saw. If this is going to happen with the last film, just don’t even bother with making the film. Make another toy story instead.

a trip down memory lane.

This is literally an instant message conversation I had like 6 years ago. I just thought I would share it with you all. you all thought I was creative and insane? This instant message conversation proves that I am insane, and creative!

enjoy!

kingettblue: hi
bigboom236: i am eating strawberries
kingettblue: ohhhh goohhhhh good choice! since you cant have Mcdonalds because it would make you fatter!!! hahahhahahhhahahayh
bigboom236: its not that i am home alone so i can't order moron
kingettblue: i am having 6 double cheseburgers and i am on my fourth go on chere me on!!!!!
kingettblue: 5th
kingettblue: 1/2
kingettblue: and i am on my 6th
bigboom236: eat those burgers
bigboom236: or i will
kingettblue: done! whooooooooooooooooo now i have to eat thoose larg frise! oh man!!
bigboom236: i wish you luck
kingettblue: sudnly falls to floor dead then a gost sits at his PC and types
kingettblue: connieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
kingettblue: i am the gost of mcdonalds present
bigboom236: drops daed of fear ghost also types
bigboom236: robertttttttttttt
bigboom236: mahahahaahahahahahahhahahhah mahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
kingettblue: cool we are gosts now!!!! want to haunt some people tonight????
bigboom236: sure i have nothing better to do
bigboom236: the question is who to haunt
kingettblue: say connies gost do you think i should sue Mcdonalds? after all they killllled me!!! hahahhhahahahah
bigboom236: yes if you lose you cankill them too
kingettblue: gost uses a phone to call his agentt
kingettblue: agent: hellow?
bigboom236: can ghost use phones
kingettblue: robs gost: yeah i was killed byy mcdonalds and i want to sue
kingettblue: agent: sorry i cant help you there
kingettblue: robs gost DAMNIT!!!!!!
kingettblue: SO CONNIE I GUES I CANT SUE!!!
bigboom236: so much for sueing
bigboom236: wht now
bigboom236: what now is what i mean
kingettblue: we gosts can call each other and have gostly chatting together1!!!!!!! hahahahahmahmmahmahmah
kingettblue: ok?
bigboom236: sure
kingettblue: weight damnit i cant use mouse my hand goes right through iit. oh well, i will move it with my mind!!!
bigboom236: so now your physic
kingettblue: yessss and i am a wacko phykik so watch out for me!!!! hahhahahahmahahahhhahah
bigboom236: not as insane as me observe true insanity  mahahahhahahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahastarts coughing
kingettblue: so can i call you? my gost buddy!!!!!!!!!!
kingettblue: >:)
bigboom236: sure
bigboom236: >:)
kingettblue: :))
kingettblue: i havea ? how do you fly???\
bigboom236: :-B
kingettblue: <:-P
bigboom236: =))
kingettblue: ';:-O
kingettblue: ;;)
kingettblue: see what i can do
kingettblue: so is it a yes???
kingettblue: read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kingettblue: raed ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
kingettblue: now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kingettblue: i am going to put this call on hpld because this stupid cat is choing my speakers!!!!!
bigboom236: i was reading it when you demanded my atention
kingettblue:  i am going to put this call on hpld because this stupid cat is choing my speakers!!!!!
bigboom236: ok
kingettblue: go on, read it
bigboom236: i am trying to read here so make upyour mind what file do you want me to read
kingettblue: no no tthis file is a movie i want you to watch so can you accept both? please!!!!!!!!!!!!
bigboom236: sure
kingettblue: this is a preety big one so just hang in there OK
kingettblue: so how far are you in kingdom hearts/
bigboom236: allright
kingettblue: ARE YOU FAR?
bigboom236: it alldepends on what world your talking about
kingettblue: WHAT PART? ARE YOU STUCK??
bigboom236: do you know that tarzan level
kingettblue: REALY? WOW!!!! (SNIKERS) GOOD JOB!!!!!
bigboom236: what "hits screen
kingettblue: YOU ARE SO FAR!!!! (LAUGHS SILENTLY)
bigboom236: " we are not i know
kingettblue: ok ARE YOU STUCK AT ALL???
bigboom236: but we cant beat that dude with the gun hes a bitch
kingettblue: YES  HE IS A TOTAL ASS!!!!
bigboom236: and his lizard is not any eaiser
kingettblue: ok YOU KNOW THAT GRREN THING HE CALLS ON???
bigboom236: do you mean the lizard
kingettblue:  DONT ATTACK IT YOU CANT KILL IT. JUST GO FOR THE GUY AT ALL COSTS
bigboom236: all right
kingettblue: if you only attack the lizard, he will just get knocked out a couple seconds and then come alive again.
kingettblue: so just keep atacking the guy and that ass of a lizard is going to defend its master so just try to avoid him as much as posible
bigboom236: envouge told us that and oh yeah it doesn'thelp that lonny has no potions
kingettblue: DAMN!!!!! pulls out teeth
kingettblue: ok go to travlers town and buy some
bigboom236: he keeps spending all the money on weapons
kingettblue: that is dumb those wont do shit, you have the best in the game
bigboom236: it drives me insane
kingettblue: well havent U noticed that those NEW weponds are not as strong as the origonal? and if so? does lonny?
bigboom236: he bought goffy a warhammer
kingettblue: say can i send you a walkthrough? please
bigboom236: god please do lonny won't listen tome he thinks girls can't play video games
kingettblue: havent U noticed that those NEW weponds are not as strong as the origonal? and if so? does lonny?
bigboom236: let me go ask
kingettblue: OK
bigboom236: no hes stupid he has not
kingettblue: damn
bigboom236: that what i said
kingettblue: hang on i am getting the walkthrough so if i don't anser, that is what i am doing OK?
kingettblue: hang on i am havin internet issues
bigboom236: except it went more like this DAMN LONNY YOUR STUPID
bigboom236: UHIHHHUHHUHHGJHUHUJJUJMYVU JH UGIJYIBVHVUVHVVZSJXJVUVKFRXDGL;CJ;
kingettblue: what don't bother me now!!!!!
bigboom236: sorry i was just randomly typing and acidentaly pressed enter
kingettblue: wow you are a good speller! hahahhahahhhahahahhahahah
kingettblue: ok here it isssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
bigboom236: thanks for the compliment i will get back toyou on what exactly i was  blushes
kingettblue: hellow i sent now exept please
bigboom236: its loading thanks kingi i owe you big time
kingettblue: P.s. i wrote it
kingettblue: hang on don't go i have another gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahhahahahhhahahahah
kingettblue: Kingdom Hearts Walkthrough
Olympus Coliseum: Herc the Hero

Phil says he has to spruce place up. He asks you to help, but the pedestal weighs a ton. You can save at the save spot. Tell Phil it's heavy. He tries to dismiss you. Apparently heroes are coming from all over. Phil laughs at you. Talk to him - there's a trial.

Bust all barrels in time limit. Do it, now more. Must fire-blast one on ledge.

Phil says "Better than I thought". He gives you a thunder spell, and says he'll train you

kingettblue: Now leave the room. Meet Hades. He is awfully friendly and gives you a pass to compete. He of course is hoping you are killed in the contest, nice guy that he is. Note in this contest, if you fail you have to start from the beginning again. This can be good to do last out of the first 3 worlds, so if you got here before finishing the other two, it's worth it to finish them off so this set of battles is easy.

bigboom236: i'm still translating the last one
bigboom236: that would be easy if lonny could aim to save his life
kingettblue: Match 1 - shadow scouts. Fight little creatures. Now Cloud comes out.
Match 2 - sinisters. Lots of little guys.
Match 3 - heat and freeze.

Phil says he's sorry Hercules is missing this.

kingettblue: Phil says he's sorry Hercules is missing this.

Match 4 - Shadow Platoon. Just keep hacking. Be sure to heal up party members.
Match 5 - Blue Revenge Lots of blue guys.

Hades tells Cloud to take you out. He had a contract for Cloud to kill Hercules, and wants to 'expand' it.

kingettblue: Match 6 - Big One. Lots of guys all together.
Final Match - Cloud.

Cloud does a killer dash attack that goes through you all. He also jumps in the air and comes down on you. Stay around him in a circle, and a bit separate so he can't get you all at once. You can lose and still keep going, so don't worry about that.

Now a giant Cerberus (pronounced Kurburose if you're interested, a three-headed dog that guarded Hades) appears and Hercules comes in to face it. When you go in to help, Hercules is holding Cloud. He leaves the dogs to you. Avoid being nearby when it's breathing black fire and you should be OK. When you win, you get the Inferno Band.

kingettblue: You are dubbed Junior Heroes. Have to clean up mess from last battle. You say you'll be back.

You get a Hero License!

Now you see Cloud. He was looking for someone, Hades was willing to help. You learn Sonic Blade. This is a GREAT scene for showing the character of Cloud, I love it.

kingettblue: You get to see a video with Hades being furious with Hercules. He wants to kill you both. The Queen is snide with him.

Note there are trinity blues near the gates on both sides. Puppies 22-24 are on one side. Shard & money on other.

kingettblue: there that is all. so is my walkthrough good?
kingettblue: so is it?
bigboom236: its ok lonny didn't get much out of i though
kingettblue: ok SAY I HAVE A kh 2 WALKTHROUGH HERE IF u WHANT IT? I MADE IT 2 DAYS AGO
bigboom236: sure if it will help us beat that gundude
kingettblue: OK
bigboom236: my brother can't beat cerberous
kingettblue: what dose that mean??
bigboom236: he needs your help
bigboom236: hades dog is a bitch
kingettblue: OK OK but first i am going to help on gun dude OK?
bigboom236: allright he is our main concern right now any way
kingettblue: Hit the fruit lots of times - free Jane. She says Clayton came to tent and kidnapped her. Now must help gorillas. Now end up in cliffs - hunter is there. You run and stop him. Tarzan tries to say it's not Clayton. You have to fight him and the shadows. He shoots "up" and opens a hole in the wall. He's floating in the air now. He's on a giant invisible gecko. Kill him - he's squished by the gecko. Get the power of healing.

You're thrown up into the air by the monkey. You're at Tarzan's home now. Go into Waterfall. Chest on ledge - Mythril Shard. Another chest in center - Shell-G. Up on grassy ledge - Mythril. Climb on grassy wall to get to Orichalcum. Used for item synth. Climb up. Now over to left - ??? - leads into cave.

kingettblue: Tarzan says friends are in our hearts. White trinity is there on floor. Keyhole in wall. Use keyblade to open. Get a Navi-G piece.

Now it goes to a video with the enemies. The princesses are falling into their hands one by one. They have Alice. You get the Jungle King award. You can upgrade your keyblade with key chains. Your keyblade is MUCH better with this!! You also now learn Red Trinity and can use the red trinity spots.
kingettblue: there dose that help???
kingettblue: i can get another i wrote
bigboom236: it helps some  but after he blows a hole iin the wall lonny can't kill him his gun shots take a huge chunk out of his HP
kingettblue: hang on i have a dog walkthrough
kingettblue: This is by no means an easy battle. Fortunately, this battle is   |
   |     optional, so walk out of the Coliseum with your head held high.   |
   |                                                                       |
   |     But where is the fun in that? You will need to keep moving, as    |
   |     Cerberus has one of several attacks that will hit you directly,   |
   |     should you stop for a brief amount of time.
bigboom236: tell me how to kill him while he is on the lizard that would be helpful
kingettblue: hang on i will send dog walkthrough first then the lizzard
kingettblue: First, Cerberus will spew out enormous fireballs that, and will   |
   |     thereafter follow you until you either dodge roll out of sight,   |
   |     or reflect it back towards Cerberus.  
kingettblue: Next is Cerberus's Shadow Breath attack. This will cause quite    |
   |     a few dark auras to burst out of the ground beneath Sora. You     |
   |     will see it the attack coming once Cerberus begins to inhale a    |
   |     black substance. You will then need to start running.             |
   |                                                                       |
   |     This is where Cerberus makes a third attack. Cerberus makes an    |
   |     aggressive stance on the ground. This is where you can either     |
   |     decide to run up and start attacking, or play it safe and stay   
kingettblue: back.
kingettblue: Boss Name:  Clayton / Stealth Sneak                               |
   |                                                                       |
   |            HP:  250  /  750                                           |
   |           EXP:  240  /  30                     ITEM:  Mega-Potion     |
   |                                                                       |
   |                         
kingettblue: First, you will want to defeat the Heartless surrounding this     |
   |     area, as they will only present problems. Once they are dead,     |
   |     start focusing your attacks on Clayton. He will use a shotgun,    |
   |     and will have incredible aim.                                     |
   |                      
kingettblue: Fortunately, Sora seems to be impervious to bullets. Just keep    |
   |     attacking Clayton, and don't let him strike back. After you've    |
   |     dealt enough damage, this part of the battle will be completed.   |
   |      Clayton will then call out Stealth Sneak.
kingettblue: It's invisible, so you will need to lock on to it. Clayton can    |
   |     and will still attack with his shotgun, only this time, you're    |
   |     not going to be able to attack Clayton until the Stealth Sneak    |
   |     becomes incapacitated.  
kingettblue: The Stealth Sneak will only be stunned momentarily, but we can    |
   |     now attack Clayton, so ignore the Stealth Sneak, and focus on     |
   |     Clayton, as he will not return back to the Stealth Sneak once     |
   |     he is off.   
kingettblue: here is how to beat the rest OK.
kingettblue: You'll now be able to access the area beyond in the waterfall, beyond the
   cliff. Make your way through the cave to several treasure chests in here.
   Their only importance is basic synthesis and Gummi Ship design. You will
   need to ascend the cave to reach the top, where you will find a cave that
   leads to the heart of the waterfall.

kingettblue:      T R A V E R S E   T O W N
Now might be a good time to restock on items and accessories, as you'll be
   diving into much deeper waters from this point onward. However, we cannot
   leave Traverse Town until we seal the keyhole. Bring the Gummi you picked
   up from Deep Jungle to Cid, and then head to the Second District.

kingettblue: Traverse Town - Second District

   Head to the alley behind the hotel and look for a barred sewers with a Red
   Trinity. Use the Red Trinity to gain access to the sewers, and then speak
   to Leon twice. Head through the door between the two braziers and locate a
   treasure chest on the left. Open the treasure chest to release Dalmations
   10, 11, & 12. Return to the First District and speak to Cid.

kingettblue:  Traverse Town - First District

   Speaking to Cid will give you access to the 100 Acre Wood, and quite a few
   more worlds outside of Traverse Town. You'll also hear the bell on top of
   the Gizmo Shop begin to ring, which means it's time to seal Traverse Town.
   Head back to the Second District.

kingettblue: Traverse Town - Second District

   Continue through the Gizmo Shop and out the door on the other side. Climb
   the ladder to reach the roof, then use the Red Trinity. Now examine the
   string next to the bell, and ring it three times. Return to the surface
   at the bottom of the Second District and approach the fountain to begin a
   battle.

kingettblue: i am still here OK
kingettblue: yes i am OK
kingettblue: ok
kingettblue: ok
kingettblue: gogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogo go go go go go go go go go go
kingettblue: 8->
kingettblue: :-w
kingettblue: 8->
bigboom236: <):)
kingettblue: REALY!!!!!!!!!!'
bigboom236: lonny is fighting gun man
kingettblue: SAY CAN I RESTART my pc?
bigboom236: why
kingettblue: SO JAWS CAN WORK
bigboom236: od
bigboom236: i mean ok
kingettblue: OD?
kingettblue: ok
kingettblue: here i go but before i do here is what you do after tarzan world
kingettblue: T R A V E R S E   T O W N
Now might be a good time to restock on items and accessories, as you'll be
   diving into much deeper waters from this point onward. However, we cannot
   leave Traverse Town until we seal the keyhole. Bring the Gummi you picked
   up from Deep Jungle to Cid, and then head to the Second District.

kingettblue: Traverse Town - Second District

   Head to the alley behind the hotel and look for a barred sewers with a Red
   Trinity. Use the Red Trinity to gain access to the sewers, and then speak
   to Leon twice. Head through the door between the two braziers and locate a
   treasure chest on the left. Open the treasure chest to release Dalmations
   10, 11, & 12. Return to the First District and speak to Cid.

kingettblue: Traverse Town - First Dis
kingettblue: ok here i go weight! promise me you will IM me at nine o c;ock tonight so i can talk to envouge

here is part 2…

kingettblue: sorry michael took over!!!!!!!!
bigboom236: thats ok i had togo shopping
bigboom236: for a dresser
kingettblue: a dreeser???
bigboom236: yes
bigboom236: hold on
kingettblue: ok
bigboom236: orry my mom was calling me
kingettblue: about what?
bigboom236: my messy romm
bigboom236: i mean room
kingettblue: oh bad girl! did she give the old thret?"if you don't clean your room Robert cant come over"?
bigboom236: no but she did say she would cut off my IM privilliges
kingettblue: what! no TV threats or anything???
bigboom236: no she thinks the most effective thing would be my IM because i have been doing that the most 
kingettblue: realy?
bigboom236: DUHH
kingettblue: did you wach that movie OK?
bigboom236: i got it but it won't open
kingettblue: i havent watched the whole thing yet how was it?
kingettblue: what??????????
bigboom236: i just said it won't open
kingettblue: ok go to g4tv.com and teel me if it opens
bigboom236: i did that how i watched it
bigboom236: it was sweet
bigboom236: as in cool
kingettblue: realy so i can sent a cheat movie now for kingdom hearts if U whant???
bigboom236: no thanks we are doing pretty good right now
kingettblue: liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bigboom236: no i am serious lonny beat gun  man
kingettblue: oh yea so where are U now???
bigboom236: transverse town we arealready talked to leone and sid
kingettblue: so what now?????????
bigboom236: i am not sure
bigboom236: you telll me
kingettblue: OK wgat did leon say
bigboom236: he said something about a key hole
kingettblue: yeah... go on i need details here dugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bigboom236: he said that must be a key hole in tranverse town and told us to find it
bigboom236: we haven't found it yet
kingettblue: sorry i was waching a movie! and wasent paing any attention to you at alll!!!!! hahahhahahhhahahhhah
bigboom236: i feel so loved"shrinks and whimpers
kingettblue: hahhahahah feel my raph
bigboom236: then eyes turn red and i kill you
kingettblue: OK so how about if i send you what to do next? OK?
bigboom236: sure
kingettblue: hang on it is taking me awhile OK?
bigboom236: ok i guess i can be patient
kingettblue: good
bigboom236: sits and pouts
kingettblue:                            T R A V E R S E   T O W N
kingettblue: Now might be a good time to restock on items and accessories, as you'll be
   diving into much deeper waters from this point onward. However, we cannot
   leave Traverse Town until we seal the keyhole. Bring the Gummi you picked
   up from Deep Jungle to Cid, and then head to the Second District.

kingettblue: Traverse Town - Second District

   Head to the alley behind the hotel and look for a barred sewers with a Red
   Trinity. Use the Red Trinity to gain access to the sewers, and then speak

kingettblue: to Leon twice. Head through the door between the two braziers and locate a
   treasure chest on the left. Open the treasure chest to release Dalmations
   10, 11, & 12. Return to the First District and speak to Cid.

kingettblue:    Traverse Town - First District

   Speaking to Cid will give you access to the 100 Acre Wood, and quite a few
   more worlds outside of Traverse Town. You'll also hear the bell on top of
   the Gizmo Shop begin to ring, which means it's time to seal Traverse Town.
   Head back to the Second District.

kingettblue:    Traverse Town - Second District
kingettblue: Continue through the Gizmo Shop and out the door on the other side. Climb
   the ladder to reach the roof, then use the Red Trinity. Now examine the
   string next to the bell, and ring it three times. Return to the surface
   at the bottom of the Second District and approach the fountain to begin a
   battle.

kingettblue:    O =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= |  BOSS BATTLE  | =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= O
   |                           |_______________|                           |

kingettblue: Boss Name:  Guard Armor > Opposite Armor                          |
   |                                                                       |
   |            HP:  900                                                   |
   |           EXP:  390                            ITEM:  N/A             |
   |                                                                       |
   |                                                                       |

kingettblue: You will start off fighting the Guard Armor, which eventually     |
   |     transforms to the Opposite Armor. First, take out the hands,      |
   |     then the feet, and then the torso. You'll receive HP Balls by     |
   |     destroying the hands and feet. There are two attacks to keep      |
   |     note of, being it's energy cannon and torso spin.                

kingettblue: so did i do good?
kingettblue: need more???
kingettblue: i wrot this myself!!!
kingettblue: neat hugh?
kingettblue: The Opposite Armor will spin frequently which will deal damage    |
   |     to anyone nearby. The Opposite Armor will also detach certain     |
   |     parts of it's body. This will create an energy cannon that can    |
   |     shoot massive energy balls. You'll need to dodge roll out of      |
   |     the way to avoid this attack.                                    

kingettblue:    Traverse Town - First District

   Before heading to the Accessory Shop, there are two more things that we'll
   need to do. First, back to the alley behind the Item Shop is a Red Trinity
   on the wall leading to the alley in the Second District. Here you can find
   a treasure chest containing Dalmations 4, 5, & 6.

bigboom236: i have company can i get back to you later will you still be online
kingettblue:    Traverse Town - Third District

   Now it's time to head to the Magician's Study in the Third District. You'll
   be able to access this either through the sewers where Leon trains, or head
   back to the Third District, and then enter the Magician's Study through the
   Mystical House Entrance.

bigboom236: robert i hav to go
kingettblue: i   Speak to Merlin regarding the Old Book that was given to you, then speak to
   the Fairy Godmother to obtain Simba. Examine the book on the table to enter
   100 Acre Wood.

kingettblue: do i dtop???
bigboom236: yes
kingettblue: what????
bigboom236: i have to go can get back to you laater will you still be online
kingettblue: yes you better print so you wont loose
kingettblue: bye

Revamped fairy tales sample. Tale one. Jack and the magic brick.

Revamped fairy tales. Tale one. Jack and the magic brick.

Once upon a day… what does that even mean? Am I even supposed to say that? Once upon a day? Oh crap! I think I am supposed to say once upon a time. Actually, no I shouldn’t, because that doesn’t even make sense! I mean upon means ahead, so why the heck would you say once ahead of time? That would be in the future right? Why do they even have that idiom?

Oh forget it! Just forget it! Screw all of you! I do all these stupid fairy tales and all I get is some little words at the end of the damn show! I hate my life. You know what? I'm just going to go gay and go shack up with someone and then I will live happily ever after! Ah!

What's up all, the name's jack? The narrator guy just jumped off a curb and kind of killed himself, so I am here to take over this lovely story! Hope you all enjoy. And ladies, if you want to know my MySpace its www.myspace.com/jackthetheif. That’s jack the thief okay? Enjoy!

You know those feelings when you get when you know you screwed up? I must have been completely impervious to them because when I was stealing things from that huge thing in the sky I didn’t even feel sad. I was so happy I would have kissed my dog.

I guess I can tell you what happened. My mom sort of kind of got drunk at a bar and she gambled playing some stupid game over at the mutual adult hang out place, and she gambled on so many things that she soon didn’t even have enough money to pay the water or electric bill. Completely outraged and just flabbergasted, I didn’t even talk to her for days on end. My mom, looking for some way to raise some cash, told me I should sell some of my stuff. I didn’t like the prospect of selling something of my own. How dare she do that! That was my possessions! Mad beyond belief I decided to go out of the house and down to the basket ball court to shoot some hoops. I decided to take the long way in case dear old mommy chose to follow me. The object she had told me to sell was my brand new iPod nanno with 16 gigabytes on it, and all my songs. She wanted me to sell it on eBay of all places. What an idiot.

I walk along my head held low not even looking where I am going. When I had reached the half way point to the park I heard someone call my name.

“Jack! Jack!”

“What?” I snapped at the voice behind me. “Can’t you see that I have slipped naught in my ears, or you blind?” I looked behind me to see a rather short fat man come up to me. He had a suit and tie on him and he looked like he got tired just by walking. With a balled head and beady little eyes he looked at me like I was the most interesting thing since sliced bread.

“What do you want?” I snapped at the man. He looked at me some more studying me from head to toe. From my disturbed shirt to my black pants with chains on them.

“You’re my neighbor, and I have been following you ever since you left your house.”

“Well that's freaking great buddy. You want to get a medal or something? I don’t have it. Go bother someone else.”

“I was actually wondering if we could trade.”

“Sir, I'm a troubled teen with bad social skills and a smart mouth. What could I possibly have that you even need or want, and what will you give me in return?” I was hoping that he would whip out his master card, but he just stood there with this smile on his lips like he knew something I didn’t. I hated this guy already.

“How many songs does that iPod hold? I want to get one that holds a lot of songs.”

“Depends, you give me cash and I will tell you” he just shook his head like I was a fool.

“How about I give you something better.” Out from his pocket he pulls out some brick. The thing looked so old it bypassed my grandmother.

“Are you on drugs or something? Is that a brick?” his eyes lit up so proud that I was so observant.

“Yes, but this isn’t just any old brick, this is a magical brick.” Under a bright blue son he holds it out to me, and I look at it. The thing doesn’t even have the color of a brick, and it's so small it fits in his hand.”

“I'm not that stupid.”

“Okay, fine. Don’t believe me, but look at this before you decide.” He then whips out some picture of this mansion; I look at it in total awe. The place looks so elegant my dirty clothes would look clean in that place. All I see is the front part of the house though, but that can't be captured by the camera. The house goes off frame even.

“I love it! I want it as soon as possible.”

“That’s fine with me. I just want that iPod.”

I sat and thought for the longest time. Nothing like that existed in the real world, and any idiot would by a brick off of eBay, so what did I have to lose. Who knows, it may be in fact a magical brick. I slowly stretch my palm out with the iPod nanno on top of it. He takes it at the same time I take the brick. With a beam he turns and walks away. There is something that I catch in his eyes though, and it makes me have that feeling you get when you got to go to the bathroom.

When I am walking home I am looking at this brick thinking I should just shove it in the dump or something. The thing looks so old it didn’t even have color in some spots. It felt like plastic, and it even stretched if you pulled a corner or two in the exact place. Gross. The thing also had yellow splotches on some parts. I walked home my head imagining what the mansion, if there was ever going to be one, was like. I would have game rooms to the max, and girls all in different parts of the house, Girls in sexy skin tight clothing pleasing me endless hours of the night, and I even envision waking up the next morning with some beautiful blonde in my bed and in my arms. Grinning like a complete idiot I don't look where I am going, and I take the short way home. When I get there mom is looking at me with a glare that can only be described as pure shock and hatred.

“What’s up mom?” I know that will get her all mad at me like my math teacher when I smart mouth her in class. Her face actually generates wrinkles looking at me, and they get worse when she continues to glare at me as I walk in the home. I close the door and look at her like I could do no harm.

“Jack! What is that in your hand?” I look down at the magical brick just sitting in the palm of my hand like some dead bug.

“Oh. This?”

“No jack, what else do you have in your hand. That looks like a brick, just a stupid brick!”

“Mom, chillax. This is a new kind of iPod.” Her face goes all puce and she starts shaking all over. When that happens she's soon screaming about how I was so foolish and I traded my iPod for a brick.

“It’s an imaginary iPod, mom! You were always saying I should expand my imagination some more, right?” she gets so mad I am thinking I should run before she kills me, but all she does is shove me into my room and slams the door so hard the whole entire house shakes. At least she didn’t take the cell, or the computer. I guess my mom never actually learned the meaning of grounded, because I still had all my stuff right there in my room. So I'm bored out of my mind there in my room, when I see something shoot past my window and land in the grass near my house. I sit bolt up right looking outside thinking that it was some comment that's going to take a huge chunk out of the world except for me. That would be so cool! I at once text my buddy Jayson.

“Dude, the most killer thing just happened?”

“Your mom changed into a man?”

“No. dude someone just threw something past my house. That's like so weird!”

“Yeah tell me about it.” I can actually see the sarcasm in his words.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Yeah I do, but I don't know why you are so worked up over it. You even looked at it to see what it actually is?” he had a pretty good point actually, but it didn’t scare the crap out of him.

“Okay. I will look. Talk to you later.” I set my phone to vibrate and I look out of the window and down at the black square thing just sitting in my back yard. When I get my phone out I can see by its faint lighting that it's a brick. It's my magical brick that I got from that fat man. I didn’t want to lean out any further like an idiot so I climb into my bed and get under the covers. I am just about to go to bed when my cell vibrates in my pocket.

“I know who you are, and I know what you have done.” The text reads.

“Seriously? Then you must know that I am a killer ladies man! Did you hear about the time I kissed three girls at the same time?”

“I'm not talking about that, but yes.”

“Cool! Wait, huh? How do you know?”

“It was up on YouTube. idiot.”

“Okay… so why are you texting me?”

“I'm doing it to warn you”

“My girlfriend is cheating on me?”

“Oh my god. No! Don’t plant that brick.”

“Huh?”

“You read me. Don’t plant that brick. That brick will have dire consequences!”

“Okay, first of all, how can I plant a brick, and second, you were watching me?”

“More than you know. Damn it! Mom’s here. Don’t go in the twin towers!”

I tried texting her back, but there was no answer. How odd. I think to myself. What the heck was her problem? She was so rude to me. Gosh. Didn’t her mom are dad ever teach her any respect? I fell asleep with my cell phone turned off that night. I knew I shouldn’t have put my cell on my face book page.

The weird wacky school scheduled. (making fun of my classes I've got this year.)

The weird wacky school scheduled. (Making fun of my classes I've got this year.)

By Robert w Kingett.

Hi all. Since school is almost starting I feel I have to publically display my schedule and butcher it as well. Below will be the classes I have and my reaction to each one.

Note… my classes at the Florida School for the Deaf and the Blind are like an hour long… for example first block, also known as period I guess, is from 8:00 to 9:40.

Semester one.

One. English 4 H. teacher… chancy…

Whoopee! I get to be in a class with someone who laughs like golem from Lord of the Rings. Yay! I like the class though. What does the H stand for? How can I survive this? Mrs. Chancy is used to teaching remedial reading… I wonder how she will torture me this year… this is the first time I had her.

Three. Math two. Mr. Morse.

Math two? I assume that's applied math two. I'm in applied math two because I actually am at an eighth grade level at math. It's a remedial math class. Since I'm in two, I guess I passed one. Yay! I'm smart! Mr. Morse is old and scary. Last year he put a can of coke down my shirt…. Awkward huh? And he keeps making sexual undoes every chance he gets… and he's like 67. Wow. Strange.

Three. World history… Mrs. Stephens.

Like oh my god I get the teacher that knows everyone's business! I like love it! Okay, so like George linking… hang on a second… Tracey? Why did you kiss ivy yesterday? I can't wait to see what's in store for me this year.

4. Adult living… Mrs. G.

Awesome! Woot woot woot woot! Bow chicka wow wow!

5. Shop. Teacher… Mr. Smith.

I thought I made it clear last year how much I hated shop. Good thing it's an elective. I was so bad I got a 67 and I even “tried hard.” Sigh… I was hoping to take creative writing at Saint Augustine high, or another English class. I want to work to my career… not try stuff for the heck of it. I don’t see why, how, or when shop will, is, and will be tied to being a writer… dear god. At least Mr. Smith is nice though, and he did say that “even though Robert has huge trouble in my class, he does try. I do however, recommend he take something else. He's a good writer, so why not some English classes. Something to think about next year.”

So what an interesting year huh? as school goes on, I will be keeping journals and blogs and such… it's going to be interesting.

crying… a poem.

Crying.

By Robert Kingett.

We all do it.

Seen others do it.

Some make people do it

Others stop it.

Crying.

That's all I ever did.

When the one I loved, my mom, wouldn't stop beating me…

It was my only defense.

Crying.

I look back on those long nights

Where that's all I would be doing,

Wishing I had love.

Crying.

No one ever heard me

I don’t think they wanted to

So I cried even louder

And finally, someone heard me doing the one thing I did more than breathing.

Crying.

This new family,

So filled with hugs and love.

Shall never see me do it again.

Crying.

I know that now, and forever more…

I won’t be doing it anymore.

Crying.

And now I can do one other thing

As I look ahead at the road of life stretched out before me…

I'm doing one thing I've always wanted to do.

I'm smiling….

short stories by Robert Kingett, audio version.

This post has an audio file that I came across and found one day while going through an old disc. This is a collection of short stories I have made into audio one day at school. The audio is enhanced, and is cleaned up so it should be easy listening. For those of you who are on an email, or on face book, the link is below. The audio even has catchy music!

http://www.garageband.com/mp3/short_stories_by_Robert_Kingett.mp3?|pe1|WdjZPXLrvP2rYVS0YmpmAg

stories include in this audio recording:
• The truth is the truth until it's a lie.
• Secrets can tell the truth.
• Mom’s love. A poem.
• Illusion of reality.
• A trip to Indian island.
• Love dies.

sightless hope, a memoir about child abuse, Chapter three. Old games… (complete chapter… inedited)

Chapter three. Old games.

I loved playing games with Rodger. That was awesome. When I was in second grade he and I would play games all the time. One of the games I remember well was something called swing high kick ball. I had a swing in my front yard for reasons I never knew, and when ever him and I both felt up to it would go outside, and play. I would swing, and as I was doing so he would toss the ball at me, and with my feet I would try and kick the ball. I didn't want to kick it too high because then the huge sized ball would fly over the other person’s house and be lost. I loved playing the game. I didn't ever want to stop. Rodger also had this huge thing about recording whatever I would be doing. If I were playing a video game shooting ducks he would be videotaping me doing it. Years later I would stare with complete awe at myself sitting in a chair slightly to the right of the screen pointing a gun at it as ducks flew by. I was a pretty good shot. As each duck flew by a flash would come up on the screen and then ducks would fall to the ground in funny animations. I don’t remember doing it however. The only memory I had of ever doing that was watching tapes later one day while home alone.

For reasons unknown my grandfather would often go to the doctor and come back the same day. My grandmother told him

“Rodger you have to stop drinking. The doctor knows best. Better than you do.” I was shocked. Drinking what? He never would let me drink what he drank most of the time even when I tried sneaking one. When he caught me he angrily shouted at me that his drinks were for grown ups only. They must have been, because I never saw any kids drinking from those silver cans. After a few days of pondering over it I forgot about it, but I always wondered what my grandmother meant when she said “stop drinking.”

In second grade I was a hot shot. I loved to sweet talk all the female adults, and I had an awesome memory. That's because my grandfather would make me get getting praise. I was always good in school because I had a sharp memory. The reason for this was because instead of doing homework the night before I would do it that morning. Rodger would make me get up and do it two ours before school, although it only took me like thirty minutes to do my spelling words and math problems. When my grandmother found out, which wasn’t long, she had screamed at him so loudly that I was sharply woken up by her voice one morning.

“That’s not healthy!”

“Look at how well he's doing in school. His grades are A’s now… how can you tell me that am not healthy. The brain has a tolerance for short term memory more than long term. You remember things that happened recently more clear.”

“I still don’t like it. He’s got to be exhausted.”

“He’s not complaining.” He answered with an air of smugness in his deep slightly scratchy voice.

“Rodger he never complains about anything. Stop it right now. I don’t like him getting up at six every school day. What if he gets stressed?”

“Remember, he doesn't complain about anything. You got to let him grow up. This is ridiculous! You’re still dressing him at nine years old!”

“I can't help it…” she stopped then started again like nothing ever happened.

“johns my baby!” she stopped for some time then quickly said “Robert is my baby…” no one moved… they just stood there leaving me to wonder what they were doing in my room. I listened even harder but no sound came from them any more. I went to my full length mirror in my room and looked at myself. This was nothing new, my grandmother and grandfather fighting like this. It would happen so often I didn't even think of it as fighting anymore. Standing in the mirror I looked at my shirt. A picture of a star wars X wing fighter was on the black surface. I looked at it studying it until my head hurt. I then felt the back of my neck to see what was itching me there. It was the tag. Whenever my grandmother would dress me this itchy thing would always be in the back. I took the shirt off, and admired how skinny my body looked. I loved it! I would stand there and flex all the while. I then wanted to try putting the shirt on by myself. I put it over my head and didn't look where I was putting my head and before I knew it my head was in a much smaller hole. I had put it in the arm hole. Moving around I accidently kicked the mirror and my grandmother came running like I had just set my room on fire.

“Oh my poor baby!” she squealed as I screamed inside of the shirt.

“Go away! I don’t want you in here!” she kept helping me with the shirt but I didn't want her to.

“Leave!” I screamed in the shirt but the shirt was pressed up against my mouth so all she could hear was a muffled scream. I know I was being a brat but I didn't care. I wanted to put on my own damn shirt.

“Go away! Go away! Go away!” I kept thinking in my own head but she didn't. After she was done I just stood there crying.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed at her and she drew back hurt in her voice.

“Okay… okay… I'll leave.” She did leave, and I just stood in my room crying to myself. I did however beat up my pillow.

“Why doesn't she let me do things?” I sobbed into my pillow. “I hate her! I want to put on my own shirt! I want to I want to I want to!” I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. I was mad at my grandmother and I didn't mind showing it. I gave her the silent treatment the rest of the morning as well. When she was putting on my clothes I just went limp. I didn't want to do anything that would make her life easier.

“Robert you have to turn so I can put on your socks.” Stone faced I did as she told me to d. I didn't want to be a brat too much because if I did that then they may take away stuff from me. It never happened but kid’s ob TV were always talking about it. I was nice to my grandfather even though he was mad at me for getting mad like I did. They didn't understand. None of them did. I wished wishbone were here… then I at least could have someone to talk to about all of it. I loved wishbone. I would watch him all the time. He was such a cute dog, plus he would go on all sorts of adventures. I loved that and wished I had someone like that in my life. Even though I was surrounded by family… I never felt so alone.

On the way to school Rodger told me

“Because of the way you acted I'm not taking you to pizza hut this afternoon.” I pouted in my seat now opting to give him the silent treatment as well. I couldn’t and soon turned to him.

“Can you do something?” I asked sincerely.

“Yeah. What is it you want to have me do?”

“Tell grandma I'm sorry.” he looked at me then… I'm sure he was thinking “he's not a bad kid after all. We did okay.” But he said

“You’re still going to be punished.”

“Okay.” I said. I didn't mind. I knew what I did was wrong and I accepted it. Why shouldn’t I?

After a hectic day at school where I took two tests and didn't eat lunch, I returned home with Rodger to find something I knew was not going to be there. In my room I had the old huge yellow Daytona tape players stacked with audio books on tape. When I ran into my room it was not on the bed. I knew they were going to take something away from me. I just didn't know what. When noticed that my tapes were gone I turned to my grandfather grinning a wide toothy grin. Grandmother called it my devils grin.

“If you wanted to punish me you would have removed the games also.”

“Don’t push your luck.” He sternly told me. I shut up instantly and went to play a detective game with my self in the mirror. I pretended my room was a hideout, and the house was some kind of secret base, and I had to escape. I did that all night long until I went to sleep.

At ten years old I was very nosy. I would ask all kinds of rude or inappropriate questions that would either get me yelled at, spanked, or just sternly talked to. One of these questions was

“Do girls have a floppy between their legs like I do?” to which my grandfather would get so mad his voice shook.

“Don’t ever speak of that again!”

“Fine. I won’t.” I also had a smart mouth at ten years old, but I never caused damage to anyone or anything. That was the only and main issue with me was my mouth, and I was a damn quick learner. The proof would be the video games I had beaten at least nine times in my room beside my full sized pin ball machine. This one time I got the highest score on it and it popped sounding like a gun, letting me know I won. I couldn't stop bragging about it, even after my grandmother and grandfather calmed down after the boom that came from my room. One day however, my quick wit nearly had my grandparents put in jail.

It was a Saturday, and my grandfather had gone to the store to get food. My grandmother who sounded like she wanted to drop on the floor right then and there came in and told me.

“I'm going to do some errands okay? I will be right back when I can. You want to come? Your grandpa won’t be here.”

“no.” I said beating up sub zero with my own video game character.

“Okay. Love you”

“Uh-huh.” I mumbled. After they both left I called Rodgers name. When they didn't answer I went looking for them. When my eye landed on an empty driveway from my screened in front porch I started to cry.

“Stop it poop head.” My brain told my sobbing self.

“Why?” I asked myself. “Their gone and I'm scared.

“So make defenses… like in star wars.” I didn't know how to do that, and I started to panic even more.

“You’re a do-do head. Stop… idiot!” I did stop.

“Okay… so who helps people? Get someone here who can help you” I remembered seeing a show on TV about cops guarding someone's house.

“I can call the cops!” I shouted in my head.

“Yeah… but you don’t know the number.” He did have a point.

“I can just use the operator.” I told my other voice in my head, and blew him a raspberry.

“dork.” It retorted but I just ignored him. I started to cry uncontrollably again as I picked up the phone and pressed zero.

“Hello… how may I help you?”

“I'm home alone, and I'm scared, and I want my grandma and grandpa here, but their not… so can you send some people to guard me. I'm scared.”

“Okay son… how old are you?”
“I'm ten years old.” I answered smugly like I was the smartest ten year old on the planet because I could sound so grown up… even crying.

“Ah. Okay. What's your address?” I told her, but I didn't know the zip code.

“Oh and miss…”

“Yes?”

“My eyes stupid. It's messed up. Thought you may want to know.”

“Okay. A guy will be out there shortly.” My hand went numb. I didn't even feel myself holding the phone.

“Okay. Thanks. Hurry!”

“He is.” She hastily assured me. After she hung up, I just sat there and cried. What I didn't realize however… was my grandmother did in fact tell me that Rodger wasn’t going to be here. I didn't hear her… and there was something else I didn't know as well… both of them were on their way home…

“You did the right thing, but I told you he wasn’t going to be here.” My grandmother sternly told me after the policeman, a nice guy with crew cut hair, drank some tea after declining the beer my grandfather had offered him.

“Well you two scared me.” I pouted. “So I shouldn’t get in trouble.” The cop laughed at this and said

“You have quite the Einstein on your hands.” He ruffled my hair. That's about all I remember of the conversation. I don’t even remember if I got punished or not. I did get a good talking to though, and I listened real hard as Rodger explained why him and my grandmother would be in trouble. I shocked him even more by saying

“I understand.” And then when he quizzed me I passed. We never saw that cop again by the way.

“He's not any dummy.” Rodger had shouted at my grandmother that night.

“obviously.” My grandmother said sarcastically. Our ten year old son nearly put us in jail.

“So should we move him up a grade?”

“No.” I was in my room angry that they were talking so loudly.

“I want to go to sleep!” I yelled. The voices died down then started again.

“He needs social skills… not a higher education… to be honest he's just rude sometimes.”

“Not all the time.”

“I know that Rodger but…” she trailed off, and they both fell silent.

“Why do you look like that?” my grandfather asked with deep concern in his voice. I heard him pop a beer can open. “You’re damn pale.”

“Shut up. I'm not. My head hurts though; I'm going to go to bed.”

“Love you”

“Hey… tomorrow do you want me to take him to school?” my grandfather paused.

“Yeah… sure… you sure you look okay? You don’t fucking look okay to me.”

“I… am… fine…” she said and went off to bed.

After my grandmother got me up the next day I noticed something was a little off. She lurched with each step, and she was shaking so bad I thought she was cold. She even called me john, a few times. I watched her blurred outline like some hawk. When we at last took a step out on the porch I sensed something wrong behind me. I turned, and saw my grandmother’s round body and white hair just collapse on the floor face down. I had to move out of the way so she wouldn't land on me.

“Help!” I cried, and thank god Rodger came out there, and helped her into a chair. I didn’t like the way she looked with her wide eyes and shaking body. You just stood there crying.

“Rodger… I… can't walk.” My grandmother said sounding scared which got me crying even harder.

“Yes you can.” My grandfather said sounding annoyed. “Let’s go.”

“No!” she said crying now. “Stop it stop it stops it! I can't! Please… no.” I didn't like this at all.

“Call a doctor!” I yelled at Rodger. “Now! Call him now!”

“Calm down.” My grandmother said. “I'm okay baby. Look. I'm okay.”

“Stop lying!” I yelled even louder “oh yeah? Walk.” She didn't… I stepped back watching the whole scene, I began to feel sick. I ran into the bathroom and threw up. In the back of my mind I knew what she had. “Her brain exploded.” My mind kept telling me as I kept throwing up and crying at the same time. When I was all done… I lay down on the bathroom floor and cried my lungs out. My throat hurt from screaming, and my shirt looked like it was dipped in the ocean. I then became so angry I kicked the floor.

“Stop playing games!” I sobbed and hiccupped as I pounded the floor with my fists.

“This isn’t funny you sick old woman. Stop it! STOP IT!” I screamed, but she didn't… and I didn't stop crying. In my room as I heard sirens pull away, and felt my grandfather take me in his strong shaking arms, I knew what had happened.

“Her brain exploded” I told myself again.

“Shut up idiot.” I told my own head. I didn't want to think, talk, and breathe. Walk, or even do anything. My grandmother was hurt. I looked up at my grandfather’s face, the tears never halting even for a second.

“Will she die?” as his shaking hands due to tremors, he had them since he was little, held me, and rocked me, his voice floated in my ear.

“No. she won’t die.” Crying myself to sleep in his arms, feeling at peace and frightened all at the same time… I knew one thing for sure, and nothing he said could make me change my mind… I thought he was lying.

“You’re a bad liar.” I thought as sleep took over my whole body taking me away from god’s sick games.